Assertiveness: Authentic-Self + 3



Finding it hard to recharge?

People who end up making life-choices based on someone else’s ideals and values tend to burn out and become depressed much faster than those who follow their heart. We come into this world fully equipped for our purpose, and if we are allowed to follow that purpose–leading from our natural source of energy within us–we have a perpetual-motion machine that can feel like heaven on Earth. Although sleep is still required! If we are constantly trying to live up to others’ expectations, we smash together our frustrations, anxiety, and anger inside until it becomes a giant, knotty problem–and exceedingly difficult to unravel. (My Starfish Mission page explains.)

Do you have a story to share?

A few hours ago, I watched a movie that I’d nearly forgotten about, but apparently has been on my subconscious list for a long time. The past few days, locating it turned into a hair-pulling obsession–akin to chasing the wind–until this morning. Once known as The Shift, I discovered that it is still available on YouTube, but is now under its original title, From Ambition to Meaning

Years ago, I had read a book by the writer/producer, Dr. Wayne Dyer, in which he talked about his soon-to-be-released movie, The Shift. I got busy, as people do, and it floated off my agenda. Dyer’s idea about authentic-self, however, never did. The idea of my elusive, authentic self–buried like a seed deep inside–began to sprout. This past week, The Shift, (From Ambition to Meaning) came floating back to me.

Dyer was born twenty years after my mother. (I had noted that back then.) He died last year at the age of 75. (My mother also died at the age of 75. Weird. Maybe.) He did not have the loving, supportive family that I am so tenaciously advocating here, having lived in orphanages for his first ten years of life. Instead, he had to go searching for meaning.

Wikipedia notes:

Wayne Walter Dyer was an American philosopher, self-help author, and a motivational speaker. His first book, Your Erroneous Zones, is one of the best-selling books of all time, with an estimated 35 million copies sold to date.”

He did not have a spotless record. He made some decisions that did not turn out well, just like the rest of us. But through his pain, he found his own authentic-self and did his level-best to share it with the rest of us.

Assertiveness + 3

Authentic-self is going into my category of Assertiveness posts, because finding and using our life’s purpose aligns with two of my blog’s primary themes: 1) recovering from controlling influences that have robbed us of our authentic selves, and 2) rebuilding our authentic selves for the sake of our descendants–and everyone else whose lives touch ours.

  1. First, we have to cast off everyone else’s rules and agendas–choosing to become still, quiet, and to listen. Untethering ourselves from others’ rules requires forgiving themAcknowledging our true selves requires abandoning our guilt that grew like a cancer from our own ill-fitting, self-inflicted rules.  It is a process of non-judgmentinside and out.
  2. When we find our roots of authenticity, we then must persevere, asserting ourselves, in order to hold fast to our newly-recovered senses of equilibrium.

I think. I feel. I want.

Just as in my Assertiveness + 2 post, we acknowledge and express our thoughts as perceptions of our authentic selves.

We express our feelings, asserting our reasons for retain our authenticity (in order to be physically and emotionally healthy, and in healthy relationships with others)

We become free to ask for what we want in order to follow our life’s purpose. No one lives in a vacuum, so we need to reveal that precious, vulnerable part of us that wants to fly. We then need reach out to others in order to get the resources we need to live in our authenticity.

Parable of the talents

I keep thinking about Jesus’s parable of the talents (Matthew 25: 14-30 NIV). We might find ourselves in the position of the man who buried his “talent”. When his master returned and took it away, it left him in a state of devastation.  When we are so afraid to lose what we hold dear–afraid that someone will make fun of or criticize that part of us that we love so much– we lose interest in life. We feel devastated. Wherever you are in your own process of getting back to your true self, you can be assured that you are not alone.

On my Starfish Mission page, I have recommendations for websites and books if you or someone you know could use a jump-start.

Do you have a story of discovering your authentic-self?

Have you needed to courageously assert yourself in order to become or do what you love? I would love to hear your story, and I know other readers would too.  If you write (or have written) a post about discovering and living in your authenticity, I will happily share it for you. Simply copy the link and paste it in the Comment box below.

Love, ❤ ❤ ❤


3 thoughts on “Assertiveness: Authentic-Self + 3

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